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Tuesday, 02 March 2010

i guess that makes me vain.

one of the main reasons i don't like crying in front of other people is because i am really really really ugly when i cry.
my eyelids swell, so they make my red and irrated looking eyes shrink and i look chinese. my skin becomes blotchy. my upper lip juts out more for some bizarre reason. and my nose turns tomato red and expands to about five times its normal size, when it is practically already taking over my face.
meh.

Sunday, 21 February 2010

a kiss upon the cheek.

"eight years later on a rainy night,
we were wrestling through my sheets.
with delicate hands and throbbing hearts,
our minds were so carefree.
and i drove her wild,
she made me smile.
i asked if she would stay a while.
she laid there on my chest and looked up at me.
and everything that i knew was gone,
shattered in an instant
when she leaned into me
and kissed me on the cheek."
- tyler kemp
isn't that beautiful?
sometimes it amazes me
how when you think you're the only person alive
lucky enough to feel that way,
but in reality,
millions of people all over the world
are feeling the exact same thing.
we're lucky to be human.

Sunday, 14 February 2010

the happiest valentine's day.

- first valentine's day with an actual boyfriend. wootwoot!
- spent the entire day with The Boyfriend, whom i haven't seen since last saturday. 9.30am-5pm. breakfast, chocolate shop, jewelry store, sexy time, lunch, bookstore, sexy time, and home.
- he finally got his motorbike fixed! so no more paying for transportation. and i feel so badass sitting behind him, zipping through the streets with the wind in my hair. :)
- he payed for everything and was so sweet. i have never felt so loved.
- i'm on my period, but the fooling around made us too damn horny not to have sex. i still can't believe we did that, but it was so worth the mess (wasn't really that much, my flow is pretty light). sorry, towels.
- being in love is the shit.
I FREAKING LOVE
VALENTINE'S DAY. ♥
i hope yours was as amazing as mine. :)
happy valentine's day!

Sunday, 07 February 2010

i want a magic wand.

i want to change everything back to the way it was.
i'm just not happy anymore. everything's too different.
moving schools. being in a different environment. being away from the people i'm closest to.
it's horrible.
the only time i'm not stressed is when i'm with my boyfriend. i only see him once a week.
for those rare and beautiful moments that we're together, everything seems to fall back into place.
then i have to leave and i have no choice but to live through this hell until i see him again.
it's become so hard for me to enjoy even the simplest things.
when i'm out partying, it's no fun anymore. i feel like i barely know anyone, everyone else is in their own world, like they've forgotten about me ever since i moved.
i can't have fun unless i'm drunk. but most of the time, i'm irresponsible and end up puking.
then my boyfriend is the who has to take care of me.
i've not only ruined my night, but also his.
also, i'm pretty fucking sure that his best friend secretly hates me and is gradually not making it a secret.
i've also realized that i cannot call myself a Christian.
i believe in God, but i'm not one of them.
i don't want to be.
but everything and everyone around me is telling me that i should be.
i don't want to be in a christian school. i know everyone here is just as much of a hypocrite as i am. stop pretending and stop forcing your rules on me.
i don't want to go to bible studies. but i'm too polite to decline.
i don't want to go to bible camp. but the fucking school is making it mandatory.
if i get under any more pressure than i already am, my head is going to fucking explode.

i just don't want to be here anymore.

i wish i had the power to make everything good again.